Back from my hiatus

I know that my blog is just for fun, and I shouldn't beat myself up over not posting, but I feel pretty worthless lately.  I don't feel like doing anything but sleeping and eating and laying on the couch.  The eating this is in question, too.  Most of the time, I feel queasy, and eating makes me feel only marginally better if I can find something that doesn't sound disgusting.

Cravings in the past four weeks have included Spam, corned beef hash, pepper bacon, buttery hash browns, potato salad, bread, french onion soup, nectarines, microwave asian noodles, Spaghetti-O's, sharp cheddar, baked potatoes, and table salt.  Yes, just granulated salt in my hand.  I didn't indulge that one, or the awful Spam craving...but I thought about it.

In week 8 of my pregnancy, and this past 4th of July weekend, I went back to San Diego to visit my family.  I have to say, it was one of my better family visits.  I was able to see and spend time with every member of my sizable family, the weather could not have been better at 67 degrees, and the family drama was remarkably low.  On the other hand, the drive there and back were Road Trip From Hell I & II.

It all started on Friday when my husband got off work early so that we could beat the traffic.  We packed up, and were ready to go before everyone else got on the road, and my poor hubby had diarrhea.  It took him a few hours before he was sure he'd be okay to drive, and by then it was 5 pm, and everyone we had wanted to beat to the freeway was there with us.  Sigh.  So then my son sat in the back complaining for 3 hours that his stomach hurt.  I figured it was because I really couldn't get him to eat much all day.  Wrong!  At the restaurant in Yuma, my son threw up on the booth.  We cleaned him up, and he felt better.  Then we got back on the road and I felt incredibly sick and nauseous the rest of the way.  I even ended up dry heaving in the back seat.  It was bad.

No one was sick on the way back, but the construction on the freeway in Yuma turned our 6 hour drive into an 8 hour one.  Suffice it to say, I informed my family that I would not be visiting them again until the construction in Yuma was finished.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant today.  I saw my baby on ultrasound on Tuesday, and everything looks good so far.  I saw a little brain, waving arms and legs, and a beating heart.  It was wonderful!  It's funny, but it ever really sinks in that there is a living being inside me (despite the nausea, fatigue and expanding waist)  until I see it on screen.

I'm freaking out now that this baby may be a boy.  I've always known it was a possibility, but having the first ultrasound and knowing that the gender scan is around the corner is making me a little crazy.  I want a little girl so badly that I really don't know how I'll react to an "It's a boy!" announcement.  It's not just the idea of having two boys that's awful. It's never having a daughter that I can't stand.  I know my dear husband only wants two, and it'll be a huge fight and a strain on our marriage if I tell him I can't have just to boys. Then we start this all over again with another pregnancy, and I could end up with 3 boys.

Besides, I was just beginning to be sold on the idea f only having two.  I'd always wanted 4, but my hubby talked up the advantages of only having two so much, that it sounds really appealing.  Only two college funds, not having to buy a huge car, easily arranged family vacations, and more resources for the kids overall sound great.  Now I don't think I can handle only having two if I can't have my one of each.

Guess I have 6 more weeks to worry about it.

Here's my 11 week belly shot.  I'll post my 12 week one later.  And yes, I'm holding in my tummy as much as I can.  Only a 2.8 lb weight gain so far, though!