Sunday, May 16, 2010

Getting Excited

I don't want to jinx it, but I'm pretty excited for this month.  I'm ovulating on the 20th, and so far, everything is going according to plans.  It actually doesn't feel like it's been a year, but we have, indeed, been trying for a year now.  I'm so happy to have finally figured ot what was going on with my body, that I guess I'm almost expecting it to happen this time.

My 31st birthday is coming up, too.  I was really hoping everything could work out so that I could take my pregnancy test on the morning of my birthday, but that will only be 7 days post-ovulation, and therefore highly unlikely to come up positive, even if I was pregnant.  On the other hand, this might be a blessing in disguise.  If I end up not getting pregnant this month, I don't need to start my birthday out with a big, fat negative staring at me.

I read my cards last week.  I asked just a general question about my future baby, and the Reincarnation card came up, in my Druid Tarot deck.  It got me to thinking, this baby could be someone from my past, or my husband's.  Could one of our grandfathers be ready to come back already?  They've only been gone a few years, but they would be welcome in our home.  All of them were wonderful men.  I just wonder how they'll feel about coming back with a uterus?  Haha....

Or, perhaps this little soul is someone who was important to me in a past life, and is coming to reunite with me.  A past sibling, mother, father, friend or lover?  Anything's possible.

It's hard not to get excited about meeting someone who will be so important in your life.  After all, one's children should be some of the most prominent figures in one's life.  I thought about it a lot with my son. I wondered how we would relate.  What tensions would exist in our relationship?  What would we have in common?  He's not even 3, so I don't know the answers to these questions yet.  Funny, but I thought about them more while he was living inside of me than I do now, and I'm closer to knowing the outcome.  I wonder why that is?

Either way, I think I need to plan something fun on the day I test, so that I can't dwell on it if I'm not knocked up this month.  I don't know why this month seems so urgent.  Maybe because I think having an Aquarius would be awesome?  Or maybe because giving birth in late January/early February would give me some cool spring weather to get back in shape before summertime, and only the early part of my pregnancy would be in the hellish heat?  I need to calm down.   It would be just as cool to have a Pisces, and one month later wouldn't make a whole lot of difference, in the scheme of things.  Yeah, that's what I have to tell myself.  :)

Friday, May 7, 2010

Check-in after a long hiatus

It's certainly been awhile since my last post, and life has been getting in the way of writing.  My son is involved in swim classes that clash with dinnertime, my father-in-law moved to Tucson which takes up some our weekend time (happily so!) and I've finally become a full-time Crossfit gym member, so that I can become as buff as my hubby.  Okay, maybe I'll just be able to keep up with him, but that's good enough for me.

My quest for a daughter is ongoing, but there have been breakthroughs.  The last two months my cycles have been longer and ovulation much later than normal.  I've also had a lot more fertile cervical fluid, which makes conception more likely.  Unfortunately, I've been timing sex much too early for conception to occur because my ovulation has always been on day 11 or 12 and my cycles always been 24 or 25 days.  But in March, my cycle lengthened to 28 days, with ovulation occurring on day 15.  This is the stereotypical normal cycle for women to have.  It happened in March and again in April.  I didn't want to correct my ovulation calculations for it, because it was so sudden and I wasn't sure that it would happen again.  Then, I read the FAQ (which I skimmed over in my first reading) of How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby.  One of the questions was, "Should I try the Shettles Method while breastfeeding?"  The answer was no, that you should wait until 3 months after weaning to allow your cycle to regulate itself.   Funny, my cycle lengthened about 3 months after I quit nursing my son.  So, while it has been an interesting year of trying to conceive, I think this revelation will finally allow me to get my baby girl sometime in the next few months.  Besides, my dad called last week asking if I was pregnant.  I mean, he knew we were trying, but nothing beyond that.  He told me that he had a dream that he bought me a beautiful crib made out of driftwood.   I think this is a sign that it's coming soon!  At least, I hope it is.