My progress so far

It's been a while since I've really updated my status in my journey for fitness and weight loss, and, since I've been feeling good about it today, I figured now was as good a time as any.  I'm 22 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight, and I fit into a size 12 pair of jeans.  My size 16's used to be tight.  I lost nearly all of the "back fat" that really bothered me, and my face has really thinned out.  Yay, me!

My husband has been behind a lot of my motivation.  He's 65 lbs less than what he used to weigh, and about 75 lbs less than his peak weight.  He started with Crossfit and pulled me in.  I have to admit, my attitude has never been the same since I began attending Crossfit classes.

Crossfit is a style of exercise that combines a lot of gymnastics training and Olympic style weight lifting with basic calisthenics.  All the movements are functional, and designed to build a physique that is strong with lots of endurance.  I think the best way to describe it is that it's like a boot camp style workout without any of the abuse.  Encouragement and smiling faces are all that you get at Crossfit.  The trainers at my gym are wonderful.  No matter what the exercise is, or how impossible it looks, their attitudes are always that I'll work up to it and conquer it, not that the harder movements are beyond my capabilities.  I've never felt that way before.  I've also never thought I'd be close to a handstand or that I'd ever even consider running a 5K.

My attitude has certainly changed.  I still really want to lose the weight, but my focus has shifted somewhat.  I'm more interested in running farther and faster, doing more pull-ups, push-ups and sit-ups, and building the endurance to hike, swim or bike all day.  I want to be able to walk on my hands and do a cartwheel one day.  I feel strong after my workouts now, not just tired.  I feel tough and capable of handling anything, much like I used to feel in JROTC.  That's the part of physical training in high school ROTC that I miss the most.  I remember crawling under barbed wire on my belly in the dirt, a fake M-16 in my hands as I crossed a field with simulated gunfire overhead.  It was painful and awful as I went through it, but as I stood up, dirt in my mouth and nose, muscles sore and cramping and eyes watering, I felt like I could have conquered the world.  I felt so alive and so capable at that moment.  I know now that there were a lot of things wrong with what I did, looking back.  The desensitization to violence and war left me with issues that took a few years out of high school to heal.  But the feeling I got from those exercises really gave me confidence in myself and my body.  I missed that, and, up until recently, had no idea that I could get that feeling back without all the bad stuff. Crossfit to the rescue!

Crossfit has really changed the way I work out, and my attitude toward working out.  I used to think I wouldn't be motivated to exercise if I wasn't going to be doing something fun like hiking, bellydancing or climbing.  I also used to think that I couldn't get any meaningful exercise in without putting in an hour or more three or four days a week.  Now I do exhausting workouts 5 or six days a week that are almost all less than half an hour including warm-up and cool down.  I still fit some yoga and bellydance into my week, and hiking will always be my first love, but I see me regular workout as tools to help me do whatever I want with my body when it's time for fun.  I used to think the idea of me skiing or snowboarding was laughable.  Now I can't wait to try them.  I have a confidence in my body that I haven't known in a long time.

I still eat what I want in smaller portions, but at least 3 dinners a week are lean meats and veggies or salad.  I still refuse to eat fake sweeteners or fats, and I have cut the sugar in my diet down to just the necessities.  I love dessert, and I need a drop or two of agave nectar in my coffee, but spaghetti sauce needs no sugar, and I can't believe that I ever ate things like baked beans, chocolate chip pancakes, or catsup.  Only dessert needs sugar, damnit!  I also can't eat pre-packaged foods the way I used to.  Years of "detoxing" from all the crap and preservatives in the stuff you can buy at convenience stores has changed my taste buds.  I used to LOVE Ho-ho's.  Not the crappy Little Debbie knock-offs, but the real Hostess Ho-ho's.  I could eat two packages of those for lunch in high school.  I thought they were divine.  So, I decided to be nostalgic and eat one on a recent road trip back to San Diego.  Ugh!  I couldn't get through the first bite.  It didn't taste like the creamy, chocolatey cake roll I remembered.  It tasted like chemicals and plastic.  I felt wasteful, but I threw the whole thing out.

I eat more fruits, veggies and eggs than I ever used to.  I have a dessert everyday, but I have a small one that I savor and really enjoy.  Yoga still makes me crave whole, nutritious food like nothing else I've ever done before.  When I'm done with half an hour of yoga, I can't imagine eating pizza or cookies.  I just crave yogurt (plain, of course) and hummus and fruit.  There's something about quietly listening to my body that makes me feel that way.

I'm at a plateau now, stuck at about 146 lbs, but I'm okay with it.  I'll just stick to working out and feeling good, and I'm sure a few pounds will start to drop off eventually.  Pregnancy is the only thing that worries me now, but I think I have the tools to keep me fit through my pregnancy and ready to go after the baby's born.  Now I just need to work on getting pregnant...

I lost 7 lbs....Suck it, Weight Watchers!

Yes, I have lost 7 pounds in two weeks. Pretty good for someone not dieting and not really going out of her way to exercise, huh? Yeah, I'm pleased with myself. My pants fit better straight out of the dryer, and I feel a little better already. I'm especially happy because this is almost the amount of weight I lost starving myself on Weight Watchers. I lost a little more 8 pounds instead of 7, but I'm so much happier doing this than I ever was on Weight Watchers. I don't really feel that WW was a sustainable solution, in the end. I thought about food constantly, planning meals almost a week in advance. It wasn't fun to eat, and there was never any spontaneity when I went out to eat. Now I can make whatever I want, as long as I stop eating when I'm full and eat consciously. Yay! This rocks!

I'd still like to lose a few more pounds before I start gaining baby weight for the next pregnancy, but I'd still be happy if I got pregnant tomorrow because I'm at least starting a few pounds under my original weight.

I have to admit, my husband's become a huge motivator for me. He's exercising 5 days a week and has lost about 25 pounds so far. He has more energy, and is looking slimmer than I've ever seen him. I jokingly told him yesterday that I'm going into training as soon as I have the next baby so that we can hike the Grand Canyon as a family. Okay, I really don't want that to be a joke. I'd love to do the mule trail ride back up, and just hike down, and it might be possible if we get in shape. See, you have to be under 200 pounds including gear to take the mule tour, and my husband has just dipped under 200 pounds. He still has a ways to go, but I never really considered it an option before. Now it's conceivable. I better teach my baby how to ride a mule!

Book review: EnLIGHTened by Jessica Berger Gross

I was sidetracked from my regular reading (a book called Hyperion which my wonderful husband passed to me) and have been reading EnLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples and a Beagle-Pointer by Jessica Berger Gross.  I have to admit, it's a fun and easy read.  The author has a good sense of humor, an engaging story (one that's familiar to all of us in the weight struggle) and some great tips on weight loss and exercise.  She's motivational, truthful and very real.  Having said all that, I think I'd have to give this book only 3 stars out of 5.

I love how she explains that we need to be truthful with ourselves.  We do know when we've eaten something bad for ourselves, eaten too much, or when we've been lazy and neglecting our bodies.  We know we should park the car further from the store, and make time for yoga or some other form of exercise in addition to walking most days of the week.  We should admit these things to ourselves so we can lift the veil of denial when it comes time to step on the scale.  However, I am NOT going to admit to my husband (or some other "buddy") when I have done these things.  Maybe her self esteem is higher than mine, and she can take the criticism.  In fact, that's likely the case.  But that doesn't change the fact that telling someone else how you screwed up every time you forget to tow the healthy line is demeaning and demoralizing.  I think a better suggestion would be to keep a journal and admit these things on paper.  That way, you're still being truthful with yourself, but you're not involving a third (possibly judgmental) person.

This woman is a bit diet crazy.  And when I say a bit, I mean a LOT.  She thinks whole wheat cheese pizza or (not and) hot chocolate made with skim milk is something to be saved for the rare treat.  She mentioned that homemade whole wheat pancakes with real maple syrup should be in the same category, and thinks that white bread should always be avoided.  Yikes!  I'm sorry, life without chocolate chip cookies, fresh artisan breads and chocolate ice cream with peanut butter is not worth living.  I'm not saying I should have these things every day, but relegating them to the "never" category just isn't happening.  I try to incorporate more whole grains in my diet, but I don't think I'll ever make a complete conversion.  I like her recipes with lentils and beans, but the idea of making this kind of food my every meal makes me a little ill.  I agree that we should try to have as many vegetarian meals as possible, and I love that she suggests buying organic, free-range and grass-fed meats as a green and responsible alternative to vegetarianism.  

Her advice on limiting portions was, in my opinion, the most helpful.  She says, "After your meal, your stomach should be 1/2 full with food, 1/4 full with water and 1/4 empty with room for air."  I love it.  In our country, the portion sizes are out of control and we should strive to be satisfied on the smallest servings possible.  With this little technique, you can eat much larger variety of foods than what the author portrays.

I loved her advice on exercise.  Stoking the inner fire, even when we're exhausted, is a great metaphor.  Many of us in yoga, and most of us who are truly in touch with our bodies, can relate to the idea of pushing ourselves on the days when we don't feel so much like exercising to give ourselves more energy.  We should all try to get in a little walking and some other physical activity every day, and push ourselves a little harder when we need to drop baby weight or a few excess pounds to kick-start weight loss.  

My favorite part of the book, though was her chapter on inner reflection.  Why are we over-eating?  What does your comfort food represent?  What feeling are you stuffing down an covering with food?  These are important questions overweight people seldom ask themselves.  Understanding that permanent weight-loss isn't possible without dealing with internal issues is something few people understand.  Kudos to Jessica Berger Gross for talking about her struggle so candidly.

All in all, I think she goes overboard with her diet, and she crosses the line from realistic to idealistic.  I would recommend the book to others, but only with the caveat that her dieting advice is too extreme, and that there are lots of other books with better, more sensible eating tips.  I love The Fat Fallacy, and others like it, which put forth the "un-dieting" and "slow food" methods of eating.  Eating whatever you want, but savoring it slowly, chewing more meaningfully and tasting every bite makes you really consider which foods you truly love and which ones aren't so great.  This method brings about a more healthful diet and smaller portions without restricting one's diet to rabbit food.